Inspired by Liam this weekend, I worked on two smaller scale essays for programs I am applying to, and I finished them. But I feel like they are a little lackluster. The problem with essays is that to me all my answers sound the same. I feel like I seem a hundred times more interesting and sincere in person than I do on paper when going on and on about my values and motivations and career goals. It's like the more I write, the more I feel like some sort of cliche. But what I write is the truth. And I can never tell whether it is appropriate to take a more creative (aka eccentric) approach so I just hang on and wait till an interview of some sort to really show my colors.

Anyway, I am glad I got a bit of it done. It will soon be out my hands. I am feeling a bit more peaceful about all my possible decisions. To have to choose between good things is a good place to be.

My pastor, Jim Dickerson, lent me this book that he contributed to called Reclaiming the Body in Christian Spirituality. There are chapters about yoga, meditation, connection to the earth and basically redefining a lot of stuff that scares Christians because it sounds too new-age. Jim's chapter is an anomaly about the political and social dimensions of all that; which makes sense considering our favorite word for the church is so often the BODY of Christ. How can we not understand what our bodies are for and how to properly honor the body in our walk when we use this kind of language all the time for our communities of faith? This was a good idea and I skipped right to Jim's chapter tonight. It was so weird. I know why he lent it to me because it was one of those moments where I felt like God followed up with me or something. All the things in Jim's chapter were things that came up in conversation in a lunch we had had together that day.

I have never seen a church like Jim's that ties everything together so seamlessly and so holistically. I am entirely intrigued and over-eager to get connected there. He wants me to pray about that as I am always overbooking myself. I got some good advice in a hard moment from Li the other weekend: that living simply is more than about a vow of poverty. There is so much around me I want to take advantage of. That is just how I have always been. I want to have a taste of and get involved in everything. But simplicity for me will look like learning how to stop wasting time now planning how to suck the life out of the next moment given to me. Luckily I live with and worship with people who know how to do this so I can just ride their coattails all the way to a little bit more peace. :)

Before I end this entry, I want to give a huge huge shoutout to my mom and dad and sister who took care of my nasty oozy puffy faced self this weekend. Even when I didn't need it, they brought me ice chips and pudding and let me pick what we watched. That's real love right there and I am really grateful.