Please note for extra appreciation of the following post: I typed all this already once, but by a slip of my ring finger onto a function key, it all got erased. But I really wanted to update tonight so here is a second half-hearted effort.

This weekend, Li came to visit me. We did not spend much time in DC unfortunately. We did see The Animation Show with a bunch of award winning shorts in my favorite theater which was nice. But he came into town for two occasions:
1. Ed was having a get together and giving Li his bike so we went to his house Friday. For any of you who might think it's sort of silly or masochistic to go hang out with an ex, you have to know how mature and kind Ed Travis is. It was actually really nice to see him.
2. My sister was having a graduation party. And I was really touched by how well Li handled meeting at least 30 of the loudest members of my extended family. And they all wanted a chance to talk with him, of course. Luckily my second cousins were there to talk theology with him. It was just such an enjoyable weekend for me. No one makes me laugh like Liam does. And I do believe I am starting to internalize (despite some of my issues and residual fears) how much he really cares about me. I really love him and I think I am still scared to say it sometimes, but I do.

After he left tonight, I was bummed but I enjoyed the first Summer(ish) thunderstorm and a hot bath and a book. Speaking of which, I am reading this really thought-provoking book called Why are all the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? by Beverly Daniels Tatum. It is this psychological take on racial identity throughout stages of development. I got it at my most recent seminar in Philly. It makes me think about the things in us that are innate that we take or granted or think that we have risen above. What we think we're immune to. Amazing how this year of focus on social justice could give me such deeper questions (and sometimes insights) about sin. What do we even think of when we think of sin? What do we picture? Like in this book? What do we think of when we picture black? Or white? Or racism? Or reconciliation? What do these things look like on first thought because that means alot. We like to think that we are strong and thoughtful enough to move beyond our reactive, impulsive thoughts, but sometimes maybe we aren't.

Also, in trying to be more regular about reading the Bible, the issue of race made me respond that much more to Peter's vision in the book of Acts with the clean and unclean animals descending from the sky as approved. When God opens the door of salvation and redemption to those beyond His chosen people, how does the meaning of holiness change? When we ask the Lord to make us holy, what does that mean? Do we picture ourselves as set apart/above others? Does something in us use others as a negative point of reference? Community living has revealed how much I do that without realizing; how much justifying myself involves comparison to others. I enjoy thinking about all these things and being able to integrate two worlds that seem so different sometimes. I am excited to be with people who are processing these things with me. I better stop there.

Goodnight friends.