Wednesday, August 02, 2006

People this summer have said "Wow I don't know how you have it in you to do the work at the hospital". Well....oftentimes like this week, I really don't. I barely have it in me to cut off lunch and go out to the floors or even get out of bed to come to work. I just don't want to be here and that hurts me because it makes me feel like maybe this one thing that I finally found that fulfilled me and feels like it is for me may not be...? I don't know. I know every job and vocation gets old for people, but it's only been a couple months. I just don't want to talk about death right now or deal with illness or do any more transitioning into the adult world. I want to be back at my parent's house where I am unconditionally loved and very little is asked of me other than be myself. Ugh...I am in a melancholy and cannot snap out of it. Prayers, please.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow...I have been feeling much the same way lately. Not that working with Road Runners is my vocation; I know it is a lucky break and a job of interest to me, and something that can help me but I know it is not my vocation with a capital V. Still, I get scared as I think you do, that I may never the life's work I crave that doesn't cause me to have that kind of dread and those kind of days, something that makes work feel like play most of the time. I think that it is something most people our age experience; I don't know if that helps, but just remember you are not alone. And it takes time to discover just the right thing. But you doing your internship this summer---I think you are exactly where you need to be right now, and with hindsight you will probably think so too. :) ------Sary