March on. Do not tarry. To go forward is to move toward perfection. March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life's path. (Kahlil Gibran)
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
People this summer have said "Wow I don't know how you have it in you to do the work at the hospital". Well....oftentimes like this week, I really don't. I barely have it in me to cut off lunch and go out to the floors or even get out of bed to come to work. I just don't want to be here and that hurts me because it makes me feel like maybe this one thing that I finally found that fulfilled me and feels like it is for me may not be...? I don't know. I know every job and vocation gets old for people, but it's only been a couple months. I just don't want to talk about death right now or deal with illness or do any more transitioning into the adult world. I want to be back at my parent's house where I am unconditionally loved and very little is asked of me other than be myself. Ugh...I am in a melancholy and cannot snap out of it. Prayers, please.
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Wow...I have been feeling much the same way lately. Not that working with Road Runners is my vocation; I know it is a lucky break and a job of interest to me, and something that can help me but I know it is not my vocation with a capital V. Still, I get scared as I think you do, that I may never the life's work I crave that doesn't cause me to have that kind of dread and those kind of days, something that makes work feel like play most of the time. I think that it is something most people our age experience; I don't know if that helps, but just remember you are not alone. And it takes time to discover just the right thing. But you doing your internship this summer---I think you are exactly where you need to be right now, and with hindsight you will probably think so too. :) ------Sary
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