I just finished studying for a big test so yes, I am up late again, but today was really a wonderful , SIMPLE day that I will talk about later. Right now I just felt compelled to write about how, as I lay my head on my pillow on the dark and stretched my legs out, one thought was sincerely resounding in my head:
"I love you Jesus. I love love love you. I love you." and I didnt put it there. it was just there. maybe you can understand the difference between the two.
This is a big deal because many other nights, it takes it all out of me to just go to sleep without anxiety or questions, much less with such undistracted peace.

This is very similar to the reason I think we have four distinctly different seasons (well most of the world anyway). Without those bitter cold days where even a scarf, hat and gloves arent enough to keep out the cold, how would we ever even begin to feel real joy in the first days warm enough to walk around barefoot again? You know what I'm saying? Real joy needs those days of longing. And it needs to be reminded of them. Joy needs to be made new again and again by grief.