Well today I had a phone interview with Allen Hertzke for my job at IGE. He is a professor and a writer and all kinds of cool stuff. He had a lot to say, and he may have even helped me narrow down my thesis topic. :) I really, really like interviews. I wish I could do that for a living. Just meet people and talk to them and ask them a dozen questions. That and photography would just make me so happy. I have been looking into programs of all kinds for next year that might help me get there. In the topic of photo though, I have not been into the darkroom for some time. Over a month, which is disappointing, but I have just been very busy with stuff for school and with my friends.

I am trying to make a point to be home more and to take more Jessie time. That's right. I need to enjoy being by myself more. That seems like a crucial task right about now. I talked with my counselor, Gerri (who is helping me much more than she did at first by the way--actually offering more insight!) and decided that right now my alone time has been primarily for decompressing or venting and isnt always pleasant in that regard, BUT I enjoy doing things like reading, taking walks, writing in my journal, etc. and I can foresee those times becoming more and more valuable and peaceful to me as time passes. I need time to just let all my thoughts and the possibilities of my life set in and sort out in my head.

Having so many possibilities excite me sometimes but just freeze me up and scare me at others, especially when I feel like I am sliding by letting time pass without really thinking and praying through them. You know? Sean told me that the main thing he regrets from his senior year was not planning ahead enough and looking for jobs/schools/whatever. I am trying my best. That's all I can do right now, isnt it? And I would say my best is pretty dang good by my standards. My self-pity is lately helpless in the face of all my blessings. Only one thing in my life is lacking or truly difficult, and right now it isnt even that difficult, to be honest. Just absent and uncertain. I know it will be a long road with that relationship, wherever it leads, but for now, all I can do is wait and turn my attention to the rest of my little life.

((BTW, in thinking about my movie loving friend/ex, I of course thought about The Matrix Revolutions, and am kind of sad AND proud to announce that I heard it pretty much sucked. Judging by Reloaded, am I surprised? NOPE. Sexy, sweaty club scenes and pretty uninspiring rhetoric from Lawrence Fishburn kind of ruined that one for me unfortunately. I hear the third one is only like two out of five stars and it pretty cliche. But yet I am pulled by the fact that I did see the first two on the big screen and some silly curiosity still draws me to the third. I am wondering if the Biblical analogies continue and Neo dies and is gloriously resurrected to save Zion. I don't read about movies beforehand too much so I don't know. So will I pay to see Revolutions? Probably matinee. And will I enjoy it? Sure, probably as much as I will enjoy Will Ferrell in Elf. hehe. Just because I don't think something is GOOD doesn't strike it out as being entertaining. Such is the American Way of Life, eh? hehe))