I am not even sure how long it's been. If you haven't given up on me and this blog, leave a little love so I know to keep trying to do this thing because it is dang hard to motivate myself to. But I do want you all to know what is going on and what is on my heart.

But, on a topic OUTSIDE of me (and my understanding), I am totally with Eddie on prayers for Israel and Palestine. Surprising stuff and I think the whole world is pretty skeptical, but as Christians, we can choose hope in that situation. Because wouldn't it be GREAT if that cease-fire really stuck? We've believed in crazier things.

Anyway...I don't know. This past weekend, I went to a Princeton Seminary 'Vocational Exploration' weekend and shoot, they just captured my heart! I was unsure about them in their little enclave of genius in this totally idyllic area when what I want to do involves spirit and mind and a city! But they addressed those concerns and ones I didn't even know I had and just made me feel compelled. But the deadline was February 1st. So this week has been me scrambling to gather recommendations and write an essay and a convincing addendum as to why I deserve to be considered with those other on-time applicants like my boyfriend. :)

Speaking of Liam, he is just in love with Princeton and is only applying there and seeing how excited that place made him was very touching. I kind of hope more that he gets in than that I get in because his heart has been set more on it from the start. And too, would it be totally lame to couple it up to Princeton? I can hear the groans of my more feminist friends, but this would be something I'd do for me. I just AM attracted to the level of intelligence and spirit and diversity there. For me so much of the next step is about the atmosphere of the place, you know? But I am also applying to Union in NYC and Eastern :), both of which look great for different reasons.

As if you need to hear every last thing I'm considering. That may only be interesting to me if I go too deep into it. All you really need to know is I'm still scoping out the Northeast!

This weekend was so fun though with Li and Justin and Alicia. And I don't know, it was just really rejuvenating to spend so much time away together around people who really care about each other and know how to enjoy being around each other.
I am at the point in this internship where people in the community freak out at having another six months to do this crazy thing. I am not dying to get away but some people are a bit more particular and need their space. Some of them are driving me nuts just because they seem to think the world revolves around their moods. I maybe need to be more sensitive, but did my housemates not know what they were signing up for? I think we are a pretty amazing group and I hate that some folks just LOOK for things that are wrong with individuals.

Anyway...end of that venting or it's gonna get nasty. I am happy here. Continually. I LOVE my church! If I don't go to any seminary next year, New Community is like a seminary in and of itself. And there is so much stuff to do in DC that I have to curb my activity-obsessed desire to do it all.

I realized yesterday in this class I am taking about the Desert Fathers that sometimes images we use to understand the Gospel and its message just don't work for some people do they? I heard Dennis, our teacher use the word 'awaken' to describe conversion and I raised my hand and had to interject that although that may imply clarity and peace and newness to some people, to a person like me it is just kind of negative. I react negatively to it for such a stupid reason: I am SOO not a morning person. Every day when I wake I up, I have at least five minutes that feel like the five most depressing, listless minutes of my life! :) I'm kind of exaggerating but partially serious.

So I thought about that: how do our bodily patterns affect our understanding of our faith? I think I need to try to give myself more time in the morning to enter my day (as opposed to the current get-up-at-8:15-to-walk-to-work-at-8:45-routine). That means that I may need to committ to getting to bed a little earlier. It's like Lent really. I think when you add a new discipline in, you pretty much by default give something up. I think the more time I have to orient myself and physically stretch myself out and walk around and even get outside before I jump into work as the very first thing. Tomorrow I think I will walk down to Safeway in my comfy clothes and go get another box of Clementines. Now that I wrote it, I have to do it. Will that help my faith? I don't really know. But my hope is that it will give me a better space to grow with it.