Wow I just saw I have 192 posts on this thing. It doesn't feel like that many.

One silly update: I have gotten into My Space. Lord help me. I need to be out of an office job so I can stop feeling like the lame person that checks a website for messages many times a day. but it is more fun than IM, I will admit.

Ok, so I am drawn home to Bowie a LOT lately. I have been here for a great portion of this weekend. And I hung out with my sister like 4 times in one week. I am concerned about my mom because of her back surgery coming up. I feel like the tables are turning and now is the time to be available and helpful to her. But then I guess I also am just sort of disengaging from Sojourners. I really don't want to do that in some ways. My roommates are getting totally sentimental. Some are even crying out of the blue thinking about splitting up on August 19th. I don't get it really. I am like the QUEEN of sappiness and sentimentality, but I think that has subsided in recent years. So many things have changed that I have loosened my grip slightly on the good transient times and people.

But still I dont want to already be phasing them out of my day to day life. However, I feel pulled in two directions. No one ever sees me enough lately. (Although even as I write that I realize that is this constant problem for me. Anyone else? Or am I just really bad at this whole making time for people I love thing?). One side effect of My Space is getting to talk again to blasts my from past that I miss, that I never intended to lose touch with. So them, coupled with old friends that I DO actually still talk to semi-regularly in my hometown of Bowie coupled with these new 9 roomates/DC peeps means I dont know who to invest in. I like all these people and feel blessed by connections with them for different reasons.

Obligations are part of it too. That is a negative word though. This is just a time when I need to act out of committment to many people. I mean in Bowie lately old friends are getting married and parents are needing help and I want to be present. Yet I committed to being present for my Sojourners community and have very little time left with them for this unique experience. Let's be honest, perhaps once in a lifetime experience. But I hope not.

I am not stressed. I am just trying to be where I am going to be. There seems to be goodness everywhere but I can't be everywhere. But what a great problem to have.