Long time no update.

Today I came back from a week away. After ending Sojourners I pretty much went right down to Norfolk to help Li with his transition back to Jersey. I loved getting to be around him that much, but I don't know why I thought that week would be relaxing. It was busy as all get out with constant organizing and packing and hanging out with people. But it was all stuff that Liam needed to do to end his year right and I was glad to be a part of it and to walk with him through that. Tonight my dad took me out to dinner and we talked which was nice. I confessed to him that I feel too young to be going to grad school/seminary and to be getting closer to/more serious about a boyfriend and to have friends with real jobs and houses and wedding albums. I still sometimes feel like a scared teenager. He informed me with a smile that he still feels that way most of the time. It doesn't really go away. Crap. Is that good news or bad news? :)


After that I revved myself up to stay out late and go see my DC friends Liz, Dave and Andrew, also my housies from Sojourners. I wanted to see them once more before P-ton. We went to the Diner (capitol D because it is this swanky little city diner amidst clubs and bars and bright lights but it is open 24 hours). Two of my friends split a $10 milkshake which was $10 because it had vanilla ice cream and Jim Beam. They liked it. I had coffee and an egg sandwich and prepared mentally for many meals like this in the future where diners (lower case d) are more abundant. Yet I left that group feeling really melancholy and nervous. I kind of want to cling to them and the comfort we created this year. They still have that with three of them living together this year. They are sleeping in tomorrow and then working on their lawn and garden. They were so cute and I felt a little left out, but I think it's because I have nothing to compare it to yet. No matter how confident I am in my ability to make friends and find joy in new places, I always get this nervousness. Li feels it too. This next step is finally feeling like what it is: really close at hand and really real.

I am no longer an intern or a city girl. I am a future minister living in an Ivy league town. But Liam's welcome back party reminded me how many more great people there are out there and how great it will be to be in a place for three years instead of just one. But I do miss my one year people :-(. Tomorrow is a family day. I think that will work wonders for my mood and my hope in this change. My family believes in me and thats what I need during a build-up week with lots of changes.