I feel good. And even, dare I say, at peace.

Tonight is Christmas Eve and I went to St. Pius, my old Catholic church. It was crowded with Xmas and Easter people, who I can't tell from regular attenders anymore because I don't go there anymore. I was reluctant to go because I didn't think I would get anything of community from the experience, which for me is the main difference between church and a good old fashioned quiet time. :)

BUT it was a beautiful 50 degree day and an old man insisted that I have his seat and 12 little girls were dressed up as angels and you could hear the murmur of families and the crying of the babies the whole time and Father Hill did not use a microphone for some reason and another old man smiled a toothless smile watching the children and I just took it in, thinking it was all very precious. Imperfect, yes. Sacred, yes. I really believe it was. I don't think we get to have purely transcendent experiences. I don't think it works that way. Not when you believe in a Jesus who was fully God and fully man, no separation. If He didn't get to divide the spiritual high and the ordinary everyday, then neither do we.

When I left St. Pius, I wanted to enjoy the sun setting. I listened to one of my favorite new cds, 'Seven Swans' and drove down to a church that is even older in my history, Mt. Oak. That is one of my favorite drives because the road is winding and remains two lanes and goes past a lot of open space and rolling hills. It, like my home Bowie, has changed so much. Developers are determined to touch every part of it with big houses and wider roads. It was a welcome relief to see that Mt. Oak on the outside hasn't changed at all. I wanted to go and sit in the old sanctuary or fellowship hall, but the church was locked. So I just sat in my car and looked around remembering sites of my early adolescent spiritual journey, remembering all the physical places in that parking lot that God was doing something in me at a very formative time in life. And I drove away very thankful.

Up to now, this Christmas season has felt entirely forgettable and without meaning. I can't explain what changed exactly, but I am seeing things a bit differently today. And I pray that somehow that is the case for everyone;
that they are looking around at their fragile world; their tedious world; their loud fast world; their ordinary world around them with people they may not see but once or twice a year and somehow find that God has made it more natural for them to feel thankful today. That somehow God has given them a glimpse of what they've been looking and waiting for.

Merry Christmas friends