So today I slept in in preparation for a long on-call Saturday night and I spent the afternoon at a rally for peace in West Philly at one of its all-time recording breaking times for gunshot wounds. Hundreds of neighbors in the streets: 95% of them NOT anarchists or punks or hippies but just neighbors who really deal with this stuff. There were several mothers with signs that said things like "A TEC-9 kiled my son". Young people were wearing t-shirts and taking pictures and performing with drums and dancing in a parade. Will Smith was there with Jada and I saw him through a gate shaking hands of our neighbors. I hope the bad thunderstorm didn't stop this because it is so so so so so so important. I almost cried watching it.
I prayed coming to work tonight that God might find it in God's heart to not let any GSWs happen tonight. Well one already did. It was a bad one, straight to the abdomen. His mom is with her family absolutely hysterical. She still hasn't gotten to see him. Her sister rejected any pastoral care from me, which was hard to take. Not being rejected so much as being helpless. I want to do something but I can;t do anything. Nothing at all but wait and pray for her son and for her. I want to tell her it's all going to be ok, but we don't know that. I can't even comfort her. So once again, I am helpless with her. Yet she knows and I know that I can't possibly understand this. I represent power and red tape and bureaucracy that is keeping hewr from seeing her baby before he gets cut open. Please God, don't let that 19 year old boy die in surgery.
This city cannot handle any more violent deaths at this rate. And for that matter, neither can I. Here's hoping Will Smith cares just enough to pray along with me in his limo on the way home.
3 comments:
I wish you peace, my sweet girl! So much violence you witness in the ER juxtaposed with the grace of God in those ordinary people who demonstrate in the streets for peace and harmony in their neighborhoods. Be strong for these folks -- they need you and your prayers!
Jessie, I dove into your blog because I wanted to see if you ended up teaching like you always used to talk about. What you are actually doing astounds me. It is no less noble and truly useful, but so impressive to me as I acutally DID become a teacher. Finding it emotionally exhausting. Your blog is kinda encouraging; :-)
I should look you up sometime; we go to Phila pretty frequently.
-Lissa formerly-Revell
I pray for your inner peace and strength, Jessie Lee. Stay in God's Word and find your hope. Search out Psalms 5:1-12, 6:1-10, 18:1-6; try reading these to your families as well as they anxiously wait for news. God is always with us and hears the cries of His people. May God's grace and mercy be upon you and to all whom you minister to.
Biggest hugs and lots of love.
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