between letting others' inspire me by reminding me of how many creative, beautiful, hilarious and giving people there are in the world
AND
letting myself be overcome by never being _________est
Something that came out in my first supervisor meeting at the hospital is that due to being a twin (painfully obvious insight ahead), I have a deep-seated need to be special. Perhaps the above is a misnomer because I don't even want to be the best at something per se, or be the prettiest, funniest, smartest, etc. I want to be different. I want to be the kind of person that people say "I've never met anyone like her" and mean it in a good way.
Oh the agony of self-absorption. :)
But the truth is, I do still want that.
But what I think happens is that you just can't be that for everybody. But if you're lucky there might be one or two people who there who think you are so incredible and special to want to know you for life. And i can peacefully say that that is enough.
2 comments:
God, I couldn't agree with this post more, Jess! I was thinking those thoughts to the letter while reading the race reports of my fellow teammates feeling like a big fat fraud for 'running' the marathon in 6 hours, not even running the whole thing and feeling like I can't imagine ever being as fast, disciplined or incredible as most of them. It is indeed the twin thing---nothing traumatizing but just a fact of life. But having YOU as my twin makes all the hang-ups worthwhile :)
Love you!
Sary
God, I couldn't agree with this post more, Jess! I was thinking those thoughts to the letter while reading the race reports of my fellow teammates feeling like a big fat fraud for 'running' the marathon in 6 hours, not even running the whole thing and feeling like I can't imagine ever being as fast, disciplined or incredible as most of them. It is indeed the twin thing---nothing traumatizing but just a fact of life. But having YOU as my twin makes all the hang-ups worthwhile :)
Love you!
Sary
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