two in one day??

I know....go figure....I have man troubles and I become a writing machine.

I am beginning to see this transitional time with new eyes. Earlier today I was just continuing on in such a funk....tired, depressed, unmotivated, wanting to curl up under the covers and wake up in five years when everything has worked itself out.

And I DID let myself lay down for a while. I woke up and it was still rainy and gross. But I forced myself to put on running clothes and get the hell outside!! :) Surprisingly it is rainy but it is actually like 55 degrees and gorgeous for running. That felt great. And I realized as I ran that everyone I passed around the campus smiled and waved and I thought
"What have I been forgetting?? This place is incredible, and there are few like it. People care about other people here and so many people here are genuinely, ACTUALLY nice people. And I have been counting down the days to get to the next step".
So it was good to remember that I get another two months here to take it all in.

And then to add to the weight of this realization, my friend Aboseh from Cameroon informed me that his sister's husband was killed last week in the country's unrest and his brother had an accident and is blind in one eye. But he manages to be joyful. He says that he can feel the support and prayers of his friends following him wherever he goes, and that acting miserable will not help anyone, especially him. It's like I put that question out there in the universe today and it came right back at me, only hours later. Maybe you can "fake" it till you make. Maybe you can pull off joy even when its the last thing you'd want to do.

Maybe my heart just needs to catch up to the faith I forgot I had.