My love Jason often says that he has a hard time accepting compliments. I think more often than not, we must all have difficulty accepting compliments, kindness, generosity, selflessness, and unconditional love....even those of us who dole all that out to others. We all have a hard time with it and I am puzzling as to why.
This is on my mind because Jason and I about a week ago signed the lease for our first official apartment together. It is in an old brick building right on Lake Champlain. It has a front porch, a huge bedroom, and the price is right. We are very pleased. Particularly because it has personality. It is not part of a cookie cutter complex with all the amenities and in the end, I think that suits us better.
I say all that to say that signing this lease coincided with my parents coming into town for two whole weeks on vacation. They rented a beautiful lake house coincidentally close by our apartment and have been enjoying it immensely but not in the same incredibly relaxed way that they enjoyed Ocean City vacations. Instead, they have been spending hours every day going to Lowes and Target, washing windows, sweeping, mopping and spending tons of time and money to help us get settled.
My heart is filled to overflowing. I always knew completely how much my family cared about me, but I am just totally overwhelmed by their generosity. I feel pangs of guilt and want to stop them sometimes, but then I also don't because it feels so very good. I know I probably can never repay them for all the times they have done things like this for me. I think it is extra poignant this time because they are doing it for me AND Jason--for our life beginning together up here---and that means the world.
It is a lesson in grace. Totally undeserved. Totally unexpected. Above and beyond. Humbling and even hard to accept. But when that grace is offered to us, we ought all to accept it with open arms.
1 comment:
Had to answer in this more private space... I too am overwhelmed at the love you shower on ME, Jess. It may feel like Dad and I are doing so much, but that's just material things which, of course, are helpful, but not really the stuff of life that matters. What I cherish most is watching your face brighten as you imagine your life together and your new home here in the beautiful North Country with Jason. And I love being a small part of making that dream come true. And one more thing... you brought tears to my eyes with your post. You have such a gift for expressing yourself and, most importantly, for making people feel loved, cared for, and appreciated. I hope by the time we leave (sniff!), you will hold enough of our love in your heart to take you through the time till we hug you in person once again!
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