so long Camp Dudley

You would think I would never want to leave such an unbelievable place. with a view like this, why would anyone, right?

I had a truly memorable time there, but truth be told, I have grown impatient with temporary things. I want to settle in, plant my feet. I knew we'd be moving from the camp only about two months after we arrived and I have gotten all caught up in the moving process. Jason and I found a lovely apartment that will be fun for us to make our own and the view is nearly as glorious as the one above from camp. And it is ours with no end date. That's what I love. At the camp, half my bags remained packed. And for me right now, that is not how I want to live.

I am up tonight later than any night in recent memory. 2-3 jobs this summer has gotten me back on the schedule of going to bed by 11 and that is a really really good development health-wise. I think I am up later tonight because I have been staying at this lakehouse my parents rented that coincidentally is RIGHT down the street from Jason's and my new apartment. They have been going above and beyond helping us with this move (see previous post) and in general just being around them and coming home to them for two whole weeks has me feeling a bit like a child again.....good and bad.

Good in that I feel safe and warm and deeply loved. Bad in that my reality is no longer a child's world. I have been becoming accustomed to an adult world now for a good long while. And just nestling back into this cocoon of laughter and card games and pleasantness all around with my family/best friends has got me a bit addicted to that utopian feeling again that I was so very fortunate to have growing up (where I felt like no problem was too big to handle). But my parents leave early Monday morning. Tomorrow is our last day together here. I know my mom is very sad and I am feeling sad too. It will be hard to leave the cocoon.

But never before have I felt so safe in someone I've chosen. Jason is much newer in my life relatively speaking than my family, but he is the beginnings of my safe haven, my warm cocoon. No one can replace family. But it feels good to finally be in this stage that I have longed for.....building a new family, brick by brick, nail by nail, unpacking one bag at a time.