No Jesus, no, sometimes I don't think you get it. When I have had a year like this one and my self-esteem is way fragile, all the jobs I apply to must accept me with open arms to compensate!! :-/ :-(
I'm just kidding I guess, but bad news for me folks. Teach for America sent me a thin rejection letter with no feedback able to be provided as to why I was not accepted. I feel really really dejected. Of all the places that would not think I was a good fit, this was the worst one because I have wanted to teach seriously since I was like 5 years old. And I am outstanding with kids. And I want to serve in the city. AND I GOT A 4.0 THIS SEMESTER dang it! And this big national program does not want me, and that hurts my ego like nothing else.

I mean I may have opted for Mission Year or another option and people can say this is God trying to show me His will all they want, but the fact is: think about the one thing that you would consider to be a major gift of yours and imagine a large organization telling that apparently it just isnt. I have always felt that I was good with teaching children and good at relationships, but.....well you know where my thought process takes me on that one. I will take this better given a bit of time, but I also know some of you understand where I am coming from here, so just let me pout and then get right on back to trying for something different.

I guess with all this striving towards a 'career path', I am wondering how much I am supposed to realistically believe in myself. As Christians, are we just not supposed to take things like this personally because we werent supposed to be putting any stock in our talents or successes? Are we supposed to try to be so focused on God and His will for our life that jolts in our hopes or plans don't even shake us? God knows I am human in my feelings about rejection but is that humanity just supposed to be temporary on the way to ever-increasing perfection? I don't really think so but sometimes I don't know. What are we to expect of ourselves? What are our standards for ourselves? And when those standards fail to be met, how then shall we live?