Hello. Whenever I come on here lately I feel overwhelmed by the lack of actual events to tell you about and the huge mass of feelings and thoughts to pick from to share as a substitute. What always makes blogging seem more Jess-friendly? Lists. I am a sucker for organization.

1.
Who you work with affects you. No news to any of you, but I have usually just worked with little kids or a bunch of teenagers in a crap job so I haven't felt the full brunt of this reality till this job. I work with a guy who makes mad money doing something I love (photo) in a way that is different from the way I would do it. Thus, if I tried to to do it, I probably would NOT make mad money. But if I did, I have to wonder....would I too buy something new by Apple every month and own several cars over $30,000? I'd like to say no, of course not.
But on my own end of the pay spectrum here, I am making decent money (for me) with this job and I waffle between wanting to use what I am not repaying debts with to buy an I-Pod and a whole new hip wardrobe and piles of books etc to.....wanting to do nothing with it besides maybe give it away and live on nothing and just see how that goes for me. Shoot, I am doing that for a year starting in September anyway. Why not start now? I really think that when we were younger and did not have any money to be tempted to spend, the biggest pull of our culture on us was fake love/romance/sex and all that. But now that we are in the adult world, an ever-growing temptation is to buy into total materialism. I'm young, no real obligations to anyone. Why not spend my money on stupid, temporary things for myself? Why? Because I dont want to be like that. Tough one.

2.
That was clearly longer than one item on a list ought to be.

3.
My friends impress me sometimes. One of them is pretty much co-directing a play AND will be working full-time as a teacher for a Catholic school in the fall while still in school herself! And the girl's probably getting engaged anyday now. Puts me and my schedule to shame. :) In addition, another girl friend of mine stood up for herself to the guy that she loves and is not letting him jerk her around anymore. There is a stereotype about us women that we can't say no when it comes to attention and that we always go for guys who are wrong for us. Mostly true, but my lady friends like this encourage me that we still do have a brain we can use when it comes to stupid guys. (And not only has this girl been able to stand firm in this, but she also works full-time doing research and taking care of her family and calling me almost every day despite frustrating phone tag.)

4.
I am kind of feeling like I want a boy I barely know this year to take me on a date. Because I have never done that. Amazing isnt it? I am beginning to think it is a myth that guys actually do that. Just happens in the movies.

5.
I am getting a strong desire lately to cut my hair off. Not entirely. Just above my shoulders. I had it that way through high school and I thought it was very cute and fun. I resisted the post break-up cut-all-hair-off urge that hits all ladies, but soon may be the time. Comments? Death threats (guys are so funny about long hair. I think I actually care less about guys hair than they do about mine. Is that normal? I think not)

6.
Things I really want to do ASAP:
a) ride my repaired bike down the B&A trail in my neighborhood. It goes for like ten miles.
b) go back to Six Flags (preferably for free again) and ride the Superman. Alm ost 90 fricken degree drop. WOW it looks so so fun.
c) Spend a week at the beach doing nothing but reading. Happening. August 22-27. Yay. Book recommdations or loans would be appreciate don my trip to Philly this weekend.
d) Visit my old mentor/ 'godfather' Jerry Jones.
e) Go see at least two museum exhibits down in DC but I guess there's time for that in the Fall.
f) see a band play live. Almost any band would do because its been a long time. Preferably one I can dance around to a bit.
g) Go jet skiing. My dad and I do some fun beach thing every Summer. Kayaking, parasailing, jet skiing, sky diving (obviously the best one) and I always enjoy that.
h) Prepare my heart and mind spiritually for the year ahead, goals and all.
i) Do a set of portraits of at least two people. Probably going to be my sister and maybe....my dad? I dont know. People arent really available. I would love to try to do that with all of you, but I get kinda insecure when ity comes to taking pics of you for practice so I may need some encouragement.

7.
Ok, back to work time. love love and love to my readers.