The Great Exposure

I got my midterm paper back for my class "The Minister and Mental Illness" and Dr. Capps had great notes. I know that he is an easy A, but I don't care. I could tell from his comments that he thought I had something to offer in this area. The Pastoral Care courses here are really important to me. Even the lecture at the dreaded 8 am this morning on pastoral preaching had me pretty riveted. I have gotten more from the more intellectually rigorous theology than I ever expected, but this is where my heart is. Partially I know this because I am an a bit of an anomaly on this. A lot of people here think pastoral care is too practical or not challenging enough. I understand that, but it's not where I'm at at all. SO I am sitting with that a bit as I keep thinking about where this is all headed.

Tonight I helped a friend find her floor space for a couple hours and it felt good, especially since at first I did not at all feel like doing it. And she traded me that work for amazing wisdom that I used immediately, but I will leave it at that.

Tonight I watched the movie "The Squid and the Whale" for a second time. I don't know why I love that movie so much. It seems so true to life, with people swinging between putting their best foot forward, using their best words, being the bigger person all the way over to letting the world have it and imploding into self-centeredness. Every character in the movie has their own little world going on and watching the complete awkwardness of them coming together is sort of validating in a way. I love good movies.

I was going to just go to bed after that, but before I sleep (ever since last Summer) I have read a poem or a meditation. This is Howard Thurman:

Sometimes much energy is spent in a vain attempt to protect one's self. We try to harden our fiber, to render ourselves safe from exposure. We refuse to love anyone because we cannot risk being hurt. We withdraw from participation in the struggles of our fellows because we must not get caught in the communal agony of those around us. But all this, at long last, is of no avail. The attack from without is missed and we escape only to find that the life we had protected has slowly and quietly sickened deep within because it was cut off from the nourishment of the Great Exposure.