Hello friends

Well I saw Ed today. As stands, I'm not sure I will see him much at all for the next couple months or who knows how long :-( and I still had many lingering questions. I just wanted to take a stab at feeling a bit more resolution with our break-up. We hung out for a few hours. It wasn't pleasant the way that seeing him at Thanksgiving was because this time it wasnt catching up much at all. Just hashing out thoughts on us. Of course this is difficult for me because he doesnt want to be with me ever again and that is the reality. I tried to understand better as to why, and I don't know if I do understand better even with all my questions. But I can tell you one thing I know from talking to Ed:

He has shown that he possesses a great deal of integrity. He acts on what he feels and knows and prays. When it comes down to it, I suppose that is all that anyone can be expected to do. I may disagree with him on many levels, but I at least now feel like his thought process was one which was rational, faithful and true to himself. The rest of this getting over him seems to be on me now.

I was feeling down on the drive back to my house only because I just miss him being around. All of my picky friends know that there are only some people that they would just enjoy being around at ANY given time. He is one of them for me aside from any romantic feelings. So losing a friend for a long while while we give ourselves time and space is difficult. But I do feel the wave of hope I felt at the beginning of last semester to confront a new time in my life, one that offers me plenty of opportunities to take and plenty of great people to be around. Starting NOW too. I am in the middle of Operation Clean Sweep as my mom calls it (AKA: helping my sister wade through enormous amounts of clutter in her room). So I'm back to that.

Blessings. Talk to you Philly friends after Sunday.

"He will keep in perfect peace those who trust him, whose thoughts are fixed upon him." (Isaiah 26:3)